In what could easily earn a spot in the “Guinness Book of Heavenly Records,” the Office of the Presidential Envoy for Interfaith and Ecumenical Relations has decreed that all prophecies must now pass through official government channels—perhaps making Ghana the first nation with a “Customs and Excise Division for Spiritual Imports.”
Before telling your church that a precipitating coconut may topple the president, you’re required to submit Form P-666 in triplicate, include two passport photos of the angel who revealed the vision, and deliver it to none other than the Elvis Afriyie Ankrah Prophecy Verification Desk. Processing time? Anywhere from three to forty days, depending on how fast the Holy Spirit navigates the “Express Service” lane.
This grand spiritual bureaucracy was born out of a national tragedy—a helicopter accident that claimed the lives of government officials and military personnel—prompting the government to frame it as a step toward “peace and prosperity.” Others suspect it’s just a way to ensure divine messages receive editorial approval before going public.
Online commenters aren’t holding back. One social media user quipped:
“So we are now going to spend taxpayers’ money to feed charlatans who announce fake prophecies? We could just buy them Netflix subscriptions instead.”
Another wondered why we invest billions in STEM education only to end up establishing a national think tank fueled by visions, dreams, and a man in Berekum who claims he saw the Vice President’s political future in his morning bowl of koko. At this rate, maybe Ghana should scrap the education budget altogether—and fix the Accra–Kumasi road instead—at least potholes don’t speak in tongue.
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